


Sollux x Suicidal! Reader Sadstuck

by AlexSpring



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol, Multi, Rejection, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, cigarette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 05:06:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5235281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexSpring/pseuds/AlexSpring
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You've had enough of this life. You were sick and tired. The only one who kept you moving was Sollux Captor, and he didn't even care. </p>
<p>Trigger Warning!: suicidal teen, swearing, suicide, self harm, rejection, substance abuse</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sollux x Suicidal! Reader Sadstuck TRIGGER WARNING: Suicidal teen, self harm, swearing, substance abuse, rejection, suicide

 

Oh god, you've had enough of this. Of everything. You hated everything about yourself—and so did everyone else. You had no motivation to get up in the mornings anymore.

 

Except one.

 

 Sollux Captor.

 

 He was a cool kid, but also a nerd. You couldn't get over his lisp, his brown hair, his bi colored eyes. You hated the fact that he would never acknowledge you the way to did him. He was always talking about Feferi. Always. Or Aradia. You felt bad about Aradia, but knew her death was out of your hands. Unlike yours.

 

You hated to admit it, but you envied Sollux. He talked to you about all of his problems, stresses, everything. But he never truly listened to you. It was always "Feferi this," "Feferi that,". But you were sick of it. Truly sick.

 

 You were a self harmer, and you've told him, but he forgot. Great way to make your esteem boost, right. You littered your arms and legs, and occasionally your stomach, with cuts. You always wore a long sleeved shirt or jacket to cover them. God forbid you wore shorts.

 

 You grumbled. You had to get out of bed or else you would be late. You threw off your sheets and walked to the bathroom, where you got ready.

 

Arriving at school, kids already started giving you looks. You heard some choice words, but didn't pay attention to them, even though you kept every one of them in your mind for later.

 

The bell rings, signaling for first hour. History. You take your seat, which was in the back. You self consciously pull down your (f/c) sleeve, as the bell rings once more. As the kids settle in their seats, and the teacher in hers, the announcements begin.

 

Admittedly, your first hour sucked. You didn't like history, but didn't mind some parts of it. Your teacher on the other hand—she made it horrible.

 

You dread second hour. That was the hour with Sollux. Karkat bumps into you in the hallway.

 

"Hey shit head," he yells. You grumble and turn to him.

 

"What?" Karkat raises an eyebrow as if you were talking to him. He crosses his arms. "Lighten the fuck up." He continues to walk.

 

'In a few hours, maybe,' you think to yourself. You keep walking. Math. Math fucking sucked and you didn't understand any of it.

 

 

You enter the bland looking room. Very few things decked the walls. It made you tired.

 

Of course, Sollux wasn't there yet. You take your seat and wait for him.

 

The bell rings, and he enters in a few minutes late. Your math teacher eyeballs Sollux, but says nothing. He sits down next to you. You shift your body away from him.

 

"Hey (f/n)," he whispers to you. You grumble. The teacher is going on about math homework you had on the weekend about identifying the zeros in quadratic equations. Another thing you didn't do. Sollux pokes your side.

 

"(f/n)." You grumble. "What, Sollux?"

 

"Did you do the language homework?" You sigh and turn to your backpack. A voice pipes up.

 

"Miss (f/n), are you finally starting to do work in my class?" You pull out your language book, staring her in the eyes, and push it to Sollux. You lay your head back down. The teacher growls and goes back to the class.

 

"Thankth," he shoves your folder into your his backpack. He looks back at you. "Hey, (f/n), whatth wrong?"

 

"Nothing." You say. Sollux shrugs.

 

The rest of the day was uneventful. You talked to Karkat and Gamzee a few times, and acquired a cigarette and a drink from Cronus. You pester Karkat on the way home.

 

 

chumHandle [CH] began trolling carcinoGenetist [CG]

 

CH: Hi Karkat.

CG: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT.

CH: I kinda just wanted to apologize.

CG: WHAT FOR

CH: For everything, really. I'm sorry for being a fuck up.

CG: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GETTING THIS SHIT FROM?

CH: Karkat. I'm sorry.

CG: (f/n) DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE LOG OFF

 

chumHandle [CH] ceased trolling carcinoGenetist [CG]

 

CG: FUCK ME

 

You open your door. Your mom won't be home until 10:00 pm, so you had plenty of time to write and do what you had to do. Your phone rings. It was Sollux. You ignore it.

 

You walk to your bathroom, and grab out your old friends. Three razors. One named Friend, one named Family, one named School.

 

You scrape at your thighs and stomach. You scrape side to side on your arms. Your phone rings again. You answer it, your voice shaky.

 

"H-hello?"

 

"(f/n), don't do it." His voice says.

 

"Sollux, I love you," you whisper.

 

"What?" He asks.

 

"I love you Sollux." You say to him.

 

"I, can't (f/n). I... I don't love you," he says.

 

Those were the final words. The words that set you off. You hang up your phone, and you go deep. You pull your razor down your arm, across the vein. It was too deep. There was no turning back. 

 

 


	2. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The response to Reader-chan's death.

Sollux x Suicidal! Reader

The Aftermath

Trigger Warning: swearing, grieving, substance abuse, eating disorder, insomnia, suicide mention.

 

There was that last message. The last message that went out to everyone. A mass wave of pain swept over those who cared, and a wave of guilt over those who knew they did wrong. 

The next day, no one talked. The teachers were silent, the children quiet, the bullies hidden, and the victims out. 

(f/n) didn't think that they mattered, but they were so wrong. 

Sollux sat in his second hour class, head in his arms, with the occasional glance at (f/n)'s seat. It had to have been his fault. It had to have been.

Sollux couldn't bear to look at Karkat and Gamzee during third hour, no matter how hard Karkat pried. No words were given.

People watched as the usually upbeat, sarcastic asshole now walked down the halls with his shoulders slumped and his head hung low. No one knew what to do.

So when (f/n) thought that no one cared, they were wrong.

Karkat stayed with Gamzee the entire week.

Cronus skipped on school.

Kankri had frequent mental breakdowns.

And Sollux...

Sollux felt the worse of all. 

He broke up with Feferi, and locked himself in his room constantly. He slowed himself on eating, eating less and less. He missed out on sleep, his grades began to dropped. He stopped caring.

A year later, he began smoking. Only a few cigarettes every week. But it turned into many a day. 

High school was over. He passed by an inch. He was introduced to drugs. God, it made him feel good. It made him...forget.

He overdosed a few times, went to rehab, talked to a therapist. It didn't work. 

Sollux lived everyday as if he were going to die.

And one of these days, he would. To be with (f/n). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone commented on the first part asking if there would be another chapter on the aftermath—so here it is!


End file.
